And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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