can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
