it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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