Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
