Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
