wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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