The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize