Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
