I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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