I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
