she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
