Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Girls should come with a carfax report
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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