I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize