I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize