If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I am one with the molecules
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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