I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
