possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
