my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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