So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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