I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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