Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You can't special order awesome
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
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No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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