There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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