You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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