i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
