I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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