First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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