Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
