couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
