So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
