You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
