i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
