youre lurking in front of me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
