oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
