I only kidnapped one of them. chill
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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