I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
