Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
