New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
