i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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