Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
there is glitter all over my balls
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