I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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