she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
