i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
