if i can run in heels then i can drive
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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