Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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