Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you are never too drunk for berry picking
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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