Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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