I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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