i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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