3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
last night I used snow as a chaser
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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