My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
