On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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