Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize