Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
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Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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