We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize