oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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