I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
