yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
