It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize