Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
