I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you win again, gameday.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
