new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
